no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
