Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
