She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
