Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
