he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
