Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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