i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
