tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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