i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
