school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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