At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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