I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
