Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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