marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I did not marry a roomba.
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