I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
