it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
