He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
