This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
