Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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