make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
