You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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