she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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