Your tits are I can't wait for
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
