i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
