if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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