i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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