What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
