Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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