Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
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So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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