Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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