Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
