Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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