i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize