Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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