yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
