No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
