Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
