I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize