susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
