I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
