Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
