She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
