I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
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Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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