Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
