As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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