puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
