I molested 6 butterflies tonight
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
