We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
