I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Randomize
