I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
