I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
