At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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