hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
