How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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