I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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