I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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