Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
