Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
