Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
