he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
