My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
