it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
