last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
