The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
