how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
17 year olds will be the death of me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize