That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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