Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
