i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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