Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
