i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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