All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You took a bar mat shot.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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