you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
